The Lesson Learned

In the Spirit of Lessons Learned #2

These are some “lessons learned” or musings I’ve experienced recently:

. . . What goes up must come down. And will go through a window, a person’s flesh, or whatever happens to be in its path. Okay, I already knew that. What I learned this week is that I can handle whatever comes down and the destruction it may cause. A shiny, new window now proudly stands where the shattered one once stood. No harm, no foul. At least no one was harmed by the flying object or frozen by the lack of glass for two days.

. . . It only takes me two weeks to get bored. I always thought I would get bored of the fill-in-the-blank (Atkins, Slim Fast, or Herbalife) –diet within two weeks because that particular fill-in-the-blank-diet was limited. I’m on Weight Watchers this time and am not limited by what I can eat, but still feel myself growing tired of the diet. Apparently, my normal patience level for dieting expires at two weeks. Going to push past that this time, though.

. . . Sometimes it’s good to take the long way home. I’m always rushing to get where I need to be. I’m cruising along on autopilot, while kicking a million and one other things around in my brain. And sometimes autopilot will cause you to miss your turn. But never fear, sometimes the scenic route gives way for silence and reflection.

. . . Consult your friends for their secrets or habits. My best friend has a habit of always keeping a spare hairdryer on hand. If I had followed suit, I wouldn’t have been late for work after dashing out to the drugstore, complete with soaking wet hair, to buy a new hairdryer. Such a simple thing. Such an inopportune death of a hairdryer.

. . . World’s worst pickup line. My friend and I agreed that “Do you come here often?” is the lamest pickup line of all. Lame. Lame. Lame. Especially when used at the gym. What is a girl to think? The first response is, “Why? Do I look like I should come here often?” Trust me on this. It’s never a good line, especially not when used at the gym.

Fighting The Feeling

I’ve come to the realization that I really should listen to that drowning feeling before I get swept away. And by listen I mean do something to prevent. In recent weeks this feeling has swept over me in an increasingly more frequent, recurring pattern and always within the first hour of work.

(Don’t worry--The fact that it always occurs at work does not escape me.)

The feeling appears suddenly, sporadically, and without forewarning, but always just after I’ve logged into my computer, checked my schedule, and read my morning emails. Suddenly, I feel overwhelmed with waves of fear and panic closing in on me threatening to cut off my flow of oxygen. I feel as though my lungs are filling with water and it is increasingly difficult to breath. The waves of fear and panic are crashing down on me and I feel that I cannot move. My mind is the only thing that is racing as my body is paralyzed with anxiety. I know it is anxiety. I know I cannot possibly drown, as I am not in the ocean, but rather sitting in a chair, safe in my office. But yet, drowning best describes the feeling.

I always pull myself back to the surface of reality and fresh air by taking a deep breath and mentally saying, “Bring it down.” And then I dismiss the feeling, make a detailed to-do list, and tackle the day with as much peace, gusto, and determination I can muster. As though the incident never occurred. Nothing happened. I'm okay. I didn't nearly drown. There's nothing to see here.

That’s normally how I handle the incident. But this week I’ve decided to stop and contemplate the feeling of panic and the way I handle it.

I’m not concerned with the way I handle the panic attack or the way I pull myself back from the depths of sinking into the darkness I sense is waiting for me. I think inhaling a long, deep breath is the best way to calm myself. It’s the fact that I tend to dismiss the incident that I have issues with. I tend to dismiss it as though it never occurred. Even though, I know in the back of my mind that it will, indeed, happen again.

I know that the next panic attack is waiting around the corner.

I know that I’ve managed to shake it off this time, but what happens if I can’t shake it off? Will I end up on the floor writhing and twitching? This is one of my biggest fears. The fear that the men in the little white jackets that I have long joked about really will come and get me and take me away to a rubber room.

This fear has made me realize that I must seriously face those fleeting panic attacks. I cannot continue to dismiss them.

As a first step, I’ve decided to keep track of when they occur. More specifically what triggers the feeling? Which e-mail triggers fear? What uncontrollable project causes panic? I will pinpoint the precise culprit and focus my efforts on addressing the related issues.

The men in the little white jackets will not win. This I know.

Tonight We're Going to Party Like It's 2004

We’re going out for dinner and drinks with friends. I can’t think of a better way to wrap up this hellish long week. No sirreee.

See you later. Have a great evening!

Magnetic Field

I haven’t decided if it’s a magnetic field, a black cloud, or both, but I’ve been having major issues with computing devices this week. Somehow the last three computers I’ve touched have needed serious maintenance shortly after I finished using them. These computers were fine when I found them; however, after I used them they suddenly developed quirky symptoms, which resulted in two of them being re-imaged and my laptop was hard-booted several times.

What’s a girl to think? I seem to be the common denominator in each case of computer trouble. And it’s beginning to freak me out a little. I pride myself in knowing my way around my computer and being a low-maintenance user for the IT department. At least I once was. My reputation has been irreparably damaged this week. If you’ve wondered what the problem that exists between keyboard and chair (PEBKAC) looks like, that would be me. I’m PEBKAC and I’m not happy about it.

In fact, I’m beginning to get a complex. I hope the magnetic field or black cloud hovers elsewhere soon. Somewhere that is far, far away from me.

I'm Still Standing

The husband has been out of town on a hunting excursion. He will be home tomorrow. Yay.

Don’t get me wrong-- I’m okay with having a little alone time. It’s not exactly new to me, since the boys and I lived alone for several years. I like being independent and calling the shots.

I’m just happy that he’s coming home while we still have a home to come home to, because while he's enjoying his vacation and I’ve been working hard at the office so we can pay the bills, the boys have been working hard at wrecking the house.

After school yesterday, they decided to play a robust game of catch where the cats’ toy, the springy thing with the heavy, wooden base, was the “ball.” Big brother “went long,” but little brother couldn’t stretch to make the catch and the “ball” went through the window.

So I spent several hours barricading the window, since we do not live in a warm-climate region, and getting estimates for repairing the glass. This was not how I planned to spend my time.

I just hope the house is still standing by the time the husband returns. Since the original wrecking crew lives here, there’s no guarantee.

What's Under Your Bed?

I’m not sure what overcame me today. I seem to have come down with a bug. The spring cleaning bug has hit early. I spent the afternoon cleaning and organizing my bedroom. It is the room that is off the beaten path in the house so it tends to receive the least amount of attention when cleaning. It’s easy to just shut the door and focus our cleaning efforts on the rooms people see when they visit.

As a result of this, we’ve collected a lot of junk we do not need, which resulted in two full bags of garbage for the trash receptacle. The end results from my spring-cleaning bug look great and I really didn’t mind cleaning today. I was in the mood to clean.

What I like the most about cleaning is the fact that you get immediate results and payoff for the effort. And in this case I have fitness equipment I forgot I owned. As you may know, I’ve been on a fitness kick since the first of the year. I’ve exercised everyday except for one.

So, what was under my bed? I’ll tell you what I found:

1 plastic step for step aerobics
1 Ab Roller, barely used
1 exercise mat
1 Fanny Lifter* from the Firm, barely used because that thing is pure evil.
1 colorful dumbbell set
1 metal dumbbell set
1 pair of ankle weights
1 basket containing 16 workout videos ranging from Taebo to Abs and Arms of Steel.
Various dust bunnies, which now live in the vacuum cleaner.

So, here’s a question for you, my friends. What is under your bed?

Next Week: Tune in for “What’s in Your Closet?” in the continuing series of Organize Your Life. Okay, maybe we don’t want to go there.

* The Fanny Lifter is a giant step used for step aerobics. When the two pieces are placed together, the step stands about 12 inches high. I'm only 5'2" and that makes for a challenging workout for my short legs.

On A Break

Taking a blog break this weekend. Might be back tomorrow, but don’t hold your breath.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

What's the Point?

In the last two years that I’ve been faithfully reading blogs, I’ve made some cool friends. Some of you, I’ve “met” online only and a few of you I’ve met in person. I’ve laughed with you and I’ve cried with you. I’ve definitely been entertained.

I’ve also been annoyed, disturbed, and downright disgusted by some of the things I’ve seen. Lately, I’ve read about a couple of cases concerning someone plagiarizing from other bloggers. The thief has been stealing content from other sites and posting it as his own writings. It’s not the first time I’ve heard about such a thing happening and unfortunately it will not be the last.

And even though I would not be happy to learn that someone was stealing content from my site or from one of my favorite sites, I cannot help but feel sorry for the plagiarizer. Stealing content from a weblog is something I cannot understand. Most bloggers write about their personal life and what’s on their mind. Isn’t that the point of it all?

I think it’s safe to say that people start blogs because they have something to say and they want to have an outlet. Why would someone create a site if they didn’t have any of their own thoughts to share? And one can only assume that the plagiarizer does not have any original thoughts because how else can you explain stealing thoughts and feelings from the life of someone else? Don't they have a life of their own? Why bother having a site if you have so little to say that you have to steal the words of others? What is the point of that?

It’s sad to think that someone thinks so little of himself or herself to think they have to pass off the work of someone else as their own. It's also sad to think that they think that they won't get caught. (Say that three times fast.) It's sad and pathetic.

Very sad, indeed.

The Verdict Is In

The hair jury:

I’ve received so many compliments on my hair that I’ve decided I have no choice but to stay with my hair stylist. I’ve never had so many compliments on a single hairstyle change. EVER. She’s a keeper.

The tea jury:

I’m hooked. My cupboards now harbor more varieties of tea than I have time to list. It’s freezing cold outside, but I’m snuggled beneath a blanket with the heat from my laptop’s battery and a steamy mug of tea to keep me warm. Life is great. Tea is good. I didn’t know what I was missing all these years.

All Shades of Crap

That about sums up today. Tension at work was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. A plastic one, at that. And even though I wasn’t directly involved in the drama, when half the team is fighting it affects everyone. I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy to see 5:00.

I raced home glowing with the knowledge that today is Wednesday, which is our date night. When I stepped inside, I was absolutely ecstatic to see my order from Dell arrived. I’m now the proud owner of a digital camera add-on for my Pocket PC. I skipped, yes skipped, down the hall to the computer room and installed the software and then attempted to synch my Dell Axim to download the application. And nothing. It would not synch. I rebooted the PC and nothing. I might add that I have NEVER before had any trouble synching the Axim with my PC. But tonight I messed around with it for nearly an hour before I gave up in frustration. I will work with it later.

I posted an entry here and lost the entire entry when I attempted to publish it.

At dinner, they brought the wrong order and I ate half of it before I realized I was eating chicken when I should have been eating salmon. Clueless—I know, so I didn’t send it back.

And that sums up my day. Not terrible, but I’ve definitely had better.