It’s a Bird…
No. It’s a plane. No—it’s Super-Employee!
While I do not have a problem standing up for myself in most situations, I do have this work-ethic issue. Where my career or job is involved, I have this self-image that I am Super-Employee.
Now, this does not mean Super-Employee-with-nose-buried-in-the-boss’-behind. But rather, my version of Super-Employee is someone who is unable to turn down work, delegate, or ask for help when completely buried under a landslide of paperwork, projects, and deadlines. Somewhere deep in my neuroses brain I equate asking others for help as admitting weakness. And to admit weakness is a sign of failure.
Admitting weakness would indicate that I couldn’t handle the workload. I couldn’t keep up. And maybe I can’t pull my load. So maybe they don’t really need me, but they just haven’t yet figured it out.
Sick, huh?
And I think my perfectionist tendencies come into play as well. I worry that someone else wouldn’t do it right and I would be held responsible because I own the project. And I’m sure the truth of the matter is that they wouldn’t do it my way, which translates into the right way in my sick brain.
Of course, I know better than this. I really do. I know that there are a million ways to get the job done and as long as the end result is the same it doesn’t matter how it gets done. I know this.
But I just don’t know it, you know? Whatever sickness exists inside my brain does not know it and will never acknowledge it. I’ve been Super-Employee at every job I’ve ever held. Super-Employee is so deeply engrained, that I don’t know if I can ever shake it.
And Super-Employee sucks. Yesterday, she made me complete the work I brought home from the office and she’s dragging me into the office this afternoon to complete two more projects.
Super-Employee is not my hero. Not today.