Sad. I. Am. But I feel many other things as well. I am pissed. I am disappointed. I am surprised. I am hurt. I am angry. I am conflicted. What might cause me to feel all this at once you might ask? Take one teenage son and throw in one asshole for an ex-husband and voila. That is what you get.
This is how I feel upon being informed by the oldest son that he will not return at the appointed time from his summer vacation with his dad. He will not return regardless of the fact that we have vacation scheduled shortly after their scheduled return. He will not return regardless of the fact that we've made plans and bought tickets to vacation events. It is regardless of the fact that we have other summer plans in addition to vacation. It is also regardless of the fact that I tried to reason with him. And it is regardless of the fact that his behavior is selfish and rude.
Now, I realize that he is 16 and time with his father is a short, but precious commodity for him. I don't think he intentionally means to disrupt our vacation or our summer. I really don't think he's thought it out that much.
I do know that his decision was made at his father's advice that he could just decide to stay if he chose to. And stay he will.
I know he's just staying for the summer, but it still sucks. It sucks that he won't be participating in our family vacation plans and it sucks that his absence will hang over us like a black cloud.
Yep, I'm definitely sad.
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