The Lesson Learned

A Thought

Ever feel that you can’t handle any more stress, pain, joy, or fill-in-the-blank--lest your heart explode?

Not even something small.

Rough Waters

I have not mentioned work for a while--mostly because I’ve been engrossed in family issues. However, there has been a ton of stuff happening on the job and I’m not sure if I can do it justice without saying too much and getting into hot water, but I’m willing to give it a try.

The main news is that the Captain is no longer a problem, as he jumped ship about a month ago. He just came in one day and resigned. There had been a change in management and he was going to begin reporting to someone that has a reputation for being a hard ass. There has been much speculation, of course, but we have no proof that the decision was anything other than voluntary.

Not that we were especially concerned with the reason. We were ecstatic that he was off the boat. I literally danced around the office, once I grew tired from all the cartwheels, that is. There was much celebration as we felt that we were rescued from making a difficult decision, such as notifying the boss’s boss of the existing troubles with the captain.

We thought our troubles were over, but now we’re not so sure. We’re now reporting to the boss’s boss and the arrangement might become permanent. What’s wrong with that you ask? Do we like the boss’s boss? Well, while the boss’s boss seems to be an okay guy, it’s become apparent that he does not have a clue what my department does, nor does he seem interested in obtaining that information. Instead, he seems intent on blending us with another department.

Now, our new colleagues are nice people, but there is a disconnect between the two group’s thought processes. It’s rather like being forced to speak Arabic when you only speak English. Okay, maybe it’s not that much of a stretch but it is definitely comparable to two dialects of the same language. You speak the same language, but the same words hold different meanings.

And while we hope for smooth sailing, we expect rough waters ahead.

Teenage Angst

I guess it was only a matter of time for the teenage angst to arrive. The youngest son (YS) returned yesterday, and while the oldest son was along for the ride, he did not stay. I was deeply disappointed by his decision, but did not let it show. We had a normal conversation and I assured him that I was not angry with him. I’m really not angry. Not anymore anyway. I did; however, let him know that I did not agree with his decision.

But my main problem is with the ex. He’s the reason the OS did not return. And I gave him a piece of my mind during their short visit. I informed him of something that, I’m sure, did not cross his tiny, pea brain and that is the fact that the shoe could very well be on the other foot. We could spring forward a year or two and one of the boys could decide not to visit their father in lieu of hanging out with their friends or a girlfriend. In that instance I am sure that the ex would expect me to encourage said boy that the right thing to do would be to visit their father. I’m quite sure he would not want me to simply support said boy’s right to stay here with friends or girlfriends.

I told the ex what I thought and he did not disagree. But he probably wasn’t really listening either. I don’t expect to influence him in any positive way, as he is too idiotic and too selfish to listen. To him, the OS’s decision to stay was a victory of sorts. While I believe it was a simple matter of the OS wishing to spend more time with his father coupled with the desire to exercise his newly found freedom by making his own decision, I’m sure that in the ex’s eyes it was a matter of the OS choosing the ex’s home instead of our home.

The ex thinks he’s won and I will let him have his little victory. I’m just not entirely sure that spending time with a moody teenager makes you a “winner.”

I am Sad

Sad. I. Am. But I feel many other things as well. I am pissed. I am disappointed. I am surprised. I am hurt. I am angry. I am conflicted. What might cause me to feel all this at once you might ask? Take one teenage son and throw in one asshole for an ex-husband and voila. That is what you get.

This is how I feel upon being informed by the oldest son that he will not return at the appointed time from his summer vacation with his dad. He will not return regardless of the fact that we have vacation scheduled shortly after their scheduled return. He will not return regardless of the fact that we've made plans and bought tickets to vacation events. It is regardless of the fact that we have other summer plans in addition to vacation. It is also regardless of the fact that I tried to reason with him. And it is regardless of the fact that his behavior is selfish and rude.

Now, I realize that he is 16 and time with his father is a short, but precious commodity for him. I don't think he intentionally means to disrupt our vacation or our summer. I really don't think he's thought it out that much.

I do know that his decision was made at his father's advice that he could just decide to stay if he chose to. And stay he will.

I know he's just staying for the summer, but it still sucks. It sucks that he won't be participating in our family vacation plans and it sucks that his absence will hang over us like a black cloud.

Yep, I'm definitely sad.

Father's Day Ties

The big project at work has required me to spend a great deal of time working as part of a special projects team. This team of people includes some whom I have never before worked with. This interests me because I enjoy working with new people and making new friends. If nothing else, I enjoy adding to my network of collected work friends.

When working closely with new people you tend to learn things about them that you didn’t know. As we were wrapping up our work on Friday, one of the girls mentioned her grandson. Now, although I don’t know this girl very well, I have known her for years and I did not know that she had children, let alone grandchildren. At my look of surprise, she mentioned that her grandson is the son of one of her husband’s stepchildren from his previous marriage. She said that he has remained close to them since divorcing their mother. Together, they have both been closely involved in their lives.

I think that is so cool. And I can relate to it as well, as my husband and his family have always treated my children as if they were part of their natural family. And my boys think of them as family as well. They prefer attending our family gatherings instead of those of their father’s family. My husband’s family is a very tight-knit group, while my ex’s family is often at odds with one another. In fact, his family refused to attend his recent wedding. Kids are not fools and they pick up on family strife.

And family does not require a blood connection.

Happy Father’s Day to all you dads!

My Boyfriend is Back

Hey now, hey now! The husband is back from his fishing excursion in Canada. He drove all night to get home in time to make it to a party a friend is throwing tonight. He arrived home around noon and has been sleeping since shortly after his arrival. I made him shower, of course, and I made him lunch. But I haven’t seen him since. And do you think we’ll make it to our friend’s party? I think not.

In fact, when he first mentioned his plan to drive overnight and still attend the party I knew it was a pipe dream. After eight years of living with the man, I have learned that he really needs his sleep. I know this about him and for the most part I find it mildly amusing. It can; however, sometimes cause problems. Sometimes sleep deprivation is a way of life To give you an idea of how bad it is, in the past my MIL has actually asked me whether he’s taken a nap because of his surly mood.

Yes, him mom has asked if he’s had a nap and he’s 32 years old. I hope I never have to ask a future daughter-in-law if my 30 something year old son has taken a nap. That’s all I have to say about that.

Where was I going with all this? Oh yeah, truth be told I really don’t mind that we’re currently missing the Party of the Summer. I just don’t feel very social. In fact, after I post this I’m going to bounce into the kitchen and prepare my famous Italian Chicken and Rice, Salad with Feta-Cheese, and Garlic Bread. Then we’re going to head to the movies for a late showing of which we have not fully decided. It will be either Terminal or the Stepford Wives. Or something.

I Do Not Get It

What's up with the abundance of comment spammers lately? The Lesson Learned has been struck by several comment spammers of late. Trashy spammers who have left links to pron* sites. And I can't help but think that spamming my site is a big waste of time on their part.

First of all, The Lesson Learned does not harbor pron links. Those comments are promptly deleted and the IP address banned from future comments. Not that I think the spammers would even attempt to leave more comments, nor do I think that blocking the IP address is very effective as they are most likely dial-up users. But deleting and blocking makes me feel better and that’s what is important. It makes me feel like I’m taking control of the situation.

The other reason I think spamming my site is a waste of time is that they always burry their comments in the archives. It's as if they believe that posting to archived entries will go unnoticed. Little do they know that comments are listed by posting date.

* Misspelling is intentional.

Can This Be True?

This is a shocker! Can the Iowa State Fair really rank ahead of Times Square, Disneyland, and six other events or places?

Who would have thought?

Post if You Can

I do not see the value of posting, as I cannot see my site. I can; however, get to Typepad and can post entries. I just cannot view the site and I assume that no one else can see it either. So what point is there in posting? I think this is like the tree in the forest.

If no one can see your site, can you really post an entry?

The answer is yes. Why yes, you can.

Update: And just like that, the problem is resolved. I posted an entry and can now see my site fine. How posting an entry could "fix" my site, is beyond me. Strange. Very strange, indeed.

Every 20 Years

So, I just did something I have not done for twenty years.

I was 16, and like most 16 year olds, I yearned to spend the summer hanging out at the beach with friends. Instead, thanks to my mom, I spent the summer mowing lawns and tending to flower beds. My mom volunteered my services to all of her friends and all of their friends. Now, my mom thought she was doing me a favor and, in retrospect, it was probably good for me, but I spent that summer despising every lawn I mowed and every weed I pulled. I swore I would never mow another lawn, and up until tonight I held true to my word.

Now, you may know that all the men of the house are either out of state or out of the country. You may also know that we live in the Midwest where we have seen lots of rain and hot weather--optimal weather for growing weeds, grass, plants, and other shrubbery. And you probably do not know this, but all of our neighbors are neat-freaks where landscaping is involved.

As I pulled in the driveway tonight, I noticed that our lawn was the bad seed of the neighborhood, so after dinner (a grilled chicken salad--homemade, not fast-food), I decided to drag the lawn mower out of the garage and fire it up.

The results? Mowing the lawn was not quite as bad as I recalled it to be. I really did not mind it at all. And I may even break out hedge trimmers and take care of the jungle in the back yard. Of course, the boys will be led to believe it almost killed me to mow the lawn.

I would not want to tarnish my Princess image, you know.