The Lesson Learned

The Fever

We had a great day. We did everything we wanted and a few things we needed to do, such as cleaning the house. Then we went to a summer festival. Where I held very tiny, baby Brandon, who is ten-weeks old, and smelled his head, which was a big mistake because now I want one. Wouldn’t it be great if babies were really delivered by the stork? I would sign up right now and have a tiny bundle of joy to hold within six to eight weeks, cash on delivery.

As it stands, both my previous pregnancies were high-risk, due a pre-existing medical condition, and the hubby doesn’t want to deal that. While I can’t say that I blame him, that doesn’t mean I can’t have baby fever.

Five Days, Four Nights

We're back from our little family vacation. It was nice, if not relaxing. The three of us went to St. Louis and were joined by the in-laws part way through the week. They joined us in time to see the zoo and attend the Cardinals game.

The in-laws had never before been to St. Louis and seemed to enjoy themselves. The husband was happy when the Cardinals won. I was surprised to learn that Nick Lachey was attending the same game complete with his Cincinnati gear, which received jeers from the St. Louis crowd. The YS absolutely loved the City Museum. All and all, everyone had a good time.

It was nice, if a bit jam-packed. We scurried from one local landmark to the next taking in as many of the sites as we could during our brief stay. Now, the husband is of the mind that when traveling to another destination, one must see and experience all that is possible. He figures we can rest and relax when we are home. And, while I understand where he is coming from, generally, that does not leave any time for relaxing near the pool. And lets face it, my idea of a vacation definitely includes hanging out in the pool.

And lately I've been of the mind to relax and do nothing. Less is more and lounging by a pool is currently my dream vacation.

Lesson Learned: Our next vacation will definitely include more down time for relaxation.

Home Again

We're back. Finally. Home sweet home. Too tired for a real entry. Will be back tomorrow with words and vacation photos. Stay tuned.

Vacation Bound

We're off on our little family vacation. See you on Friday. Have a wonderful week!

Teenage Angst

I guess it was only a matter of time for the teenage angst to arrive. The youngest son (YS) returned yesterday, and while the oldest son was along for the ride, he did not stay. I was deeply disappointed by his decision, but did not let it show. We had a normal conversation and I assured him that I was not angry with him. I’m really not angry. Not anymore anyway. I did; however, let him know that I did not agree with his decision.

But my main problem is with the ex. He’s the reason the OS did not return. And I gave him a piece of my mind during their short visit. I informed him of something that, I’m sure, did not cross his tiny, pea brain and that is the fact that the shoe could very well be on the other foot. We could spring forward a year or two and one of the boys could decide not to visit their father in lieu of hanging out with their friends or a girlfriend. In that instance I am sure that the ex would expect me to encourage said boy that the right thing to do would be to visit their father. I’m quite sure he would not want me to simply support said boy’s right to stay here with friends or girlfriends.

I told the ex what I thought and he did not disagree. But he probably wasn’t really listening either. I don’t expect to influence him in any positive way, as he is too idiotic and too selfish to listen. To him, the OS’s decision to stay was a victory of sorts. While I believe it was a simple matter of the OS wishing to spend more time with his father coupled with the desire to exercise his newly found freedom by making his own decision, I’m sure that in the ex’s eyes it was a matter of the OS choosing the ex’s home instead of our home.

The ex thinks he’s won and I will let him have his little victory. I’m just not entirely sure that spending time with a moody teenager makes you a “winner.”

I am Sad

Sad. I. Am. But I feel many other things as well. I am pissed. I am disappointed. I am surprised. I am hurt. I am angry. I am conflicted. What might cause me to feel all this at once you might ask? Take one teenage son and throw in one asshole for an ex-husband and voila. That is what you get.

This is how I feel upon being informed by the oldest son that he will not return at the appointed time from his summer vacation with his dad. He will not return regardless of the fact that we have vacation scheduled shortly after their scheduled return. He will not return regardless of the fact that we've made plans and bought tickets to vacation events. It is regardless of the fact that we have other summer plans in addition to vacation. It is also regardless of the fact that I tried to reason with him. And it is regardless of the fact that his behavior is selfish and rude.

Now, I realize that he is 16 and time with his father is a short, but precious commodity for him. I don't think he intentionally means to disrupt our vacation or our summer. I really don't think he's thought it out that much.

I do know that his decision was made at his father's advice that he could just decide to stay if he chose to. And stay he will.

I know he's just staying for the summer, but it still sucks. It sucks that he won't be participating in our family vacation plans and it sucks that his absence will hang over us like a black cloud.

Yep, I'm definitely sad.

Father's Day Ties

The big project at work has required me to spend a great deal of time working as part of a special projects team. This team of people includes some whom I have never before worked with. This interests me because I enjoy working with new people and making new friends. If nothing else, I enjoy adding to my network of collected work friends.

When working closely with new people you tend to learn things about them that you didn’t know. As we were wrapping up our work on Friday, one of the girls mentioned her grandson. Now, although I don’t know this girl very well, I have known her for years and I did not know that she had children, let alone grandchildren. At my look of surprise, she mentioned that her grandson is the son of one of her husband’s stepchildren from his previous marriage. She said that he has remained close to them since divorcing their mother. Together, they have both been closely involved in their lives.

I think that is so cool. And I can relate to it as well, as my husband and his family have always treated my children as if they were part of their natural family. And my boys think of them as family as well. They prefer attending our family gatherings instead of those of their father’s family. My husband’s family is a very tight-knit group, while my ex’s family is often at odds with one another. In fact, his family refused to attend his recent wedding. Kids are not fools and they pick up on family strife.

And family does not require a blood connection.

Happy Father’s Day to all you dads!

My Boyfriend is Back

Hey now, hey now! The husband is back from his fishing excursion in Canada. He drove all night to get home in time to make it to a party a friend is throwing tonight. He arrived home around noon and has been sleeping since shortly after his arrival. I made him shower, of course, and I made him lunch. But I haven’t seen him since. And do you think we’ll make it to our friend’s party? I think not.

In fact, when he first mentioned his plan to drive overnight and still attend the party I knew it was a pipe dream. After eight years of living with the man, I have learned that he really needs his sleep. I know this about him and for the most part I find it mildly amusing. It can; however, sometimes cause problems. Sometimes sleep deprivation is a way of life To give you an idea of how bad it is, in the past my MIL has actually asked me whether he’s taken a nap because of his surly mood.

Yes, him mom has asked if he’s had a nap and he’s 32 years old. I hope I never have to ask a future daughter-in-law if my 30 something year old son has taken a nap. That’s all I have to say about that.

Where was I going with all this? Oh yeah, truth be told I really don’t mind that we’re currently missing the Party of the Summer. I just don’t feel very social. In fact, after I post this I’m going to bounce into the kitchen and prepare my famous Italian Chicken and Rice, Salad with Feta-Cheese, and Garlic Bread. Then we’re going to head to the movies for a late showing of which we have not fully decided. It will be either Terminal or the Stepford Wives. Or something.

Home Alone

I’m home alone. Just the cats and me. The boys are out of state visiting their father and the husband is out of the country on a fishing excursion. I’m alone, which is very rare for me, and I'm not sure what to think.

On one hand it seems very odd to be home alone, as I have always been surrounded with family and friends. But on the other hand it is not all bad. There’s a lot to be said for freedom. I can choose what I want to watch on TV. And let’s face it, with three boys in the house I rarely get to select the programming we watch. I can eat what, and if, I want to.

And I can work as much as I need to, which has been a whole lot lately. Does the term mandatory over-time mean anything to you? It means a lot more when you’re not paid to work over-time. That’s for sure.

Date Night

I've explained our Wednesday ritual before, but this is for the new(er) people to this site. You see, Wednesday is date night. You thought I was married? I am. And I think date night is an important tradition that keeps us closer and keeps our marriage fresh. It began when we were dating.

Our schedules were very busy at the time, but Wednesday was free for both of us. It was the hubby’s idea to take me out for dinner every Wednesday. Over time we started calling it “date night”. If friends wanted us to do something on Wednesday, we responded, “Sorry, that’s our date night!”

Date night consists of dinner and sometimes a movie or shopping trip if there is a gift or joint purchase we need to make. Sometimes date night includes our boys or friends and family, but most of the time it’s just the two of us. We both look forward to spending time together and it gives us a chance to catch up on what’s going on the rest of the week. I look forward to not having to cook! Not that I cook all that much, but I look for every excuse not to.

Having date night on Wednesday works because restaurants are less crowded, which means less wait time for a table and more privacy. It also makes the week go by quicker as you have one more thing to look forward to. And the biggest bonus is we never call Wednesday “hump” day because it’s date night. I strongly recommend date night for all couples whether married or dating. Heck, it’s not exclusive to couples—grab a friend and celebrate Wednesday.

And, with that, we’re off to dinner with the boys—it’s a family date night this time. Enjoy your evening!