I’m back with part 2. This is harder to write than I thought it would be. Or I’m just not into it now, for some reason, but I’ve committed to having three parts and I’m a woman of my word. If I state there will be three parts, then I will do what it takes to ensure I have three parts. Of course, it now feels like work because of the commitment, you know, and because I have to write all three parts it now feels a little like a chore. So I have to react to it as I do with all chores--I must procrastinate first and swoop in and complete the task at the last moment in a crazy, frantic flurry of activity.
Seriously, I’ve been kicking the whole blogging thing around my mind for a while. And these entries serve several purposes. First, I think it could be interesting to discuss and explore some of my points of view. The other reason, and the main one, is that I think this could be a benchmark to use for next year to review where I am today and compare with where I am one year from now.
I can tell you that one year ago I just wanted to have a blog and the reasons were not clearly defined. Mostly, I became a blogger because I wanted to have a voice and presence on the Internet. I really didn’t think about what the voice would say. I just wanted to have a say. For almost a year before I began my weblog, I quietly lurked around other sites and formed opinions I never shared or expressed because I never commented at any site. I felt that my comments would have no merit because I didn’t have a site of my own.
Once I began my own site, I finally felt free to comment on other sites. I felt as though I could finally put my money where my mouth was, so to speak. And I did speak.
In fact, during the first week I expressed my opinion about the whole “A” list of bloggers dilemma. One week in, and I’m running my mouth about something that could potentially, and did in fact, piss off a few of the people on the “A” list.
I didn’t feel bad or fret about what I said because at that time, there really seemed to be circles of bloggers and it seemed as if newbies were banned from joining the ranks of these circles. And I didn’t care about “the list” or which list I would be on, be it the “A” list, the “B” list, or the “Z” list. I put a lot of thought into my entry and I stood behind what I said. I didn’t say anything mean, cruel, or disrespectful. It was very typical for me. I call all things as I see them. And I see most, not all, things as either black or white.
And I’m not afraid of getting involved or standing up for something that I believe in. I believe in saying what is on my mind--after careful consideration, of course, as I try to avoid running off at the mouth, either in person or online. If you know me at all, you will realize that “try” is the operative word here.
Anyway, one of my earliest entries stated that I thought having a weblog would improve my writing ability. I shared that one of the main duties of my current job requires that I write a lot where previously I wrote very little. Why I thought having the freedom to self-publish whatever one cares to write would improve one's grammar or writing style is beyond me. In retrospect, I see that that having the weblog alone does not assure you will become a great writer.
However, having a weblog and aiming to post an entry every day or nearly every day can be a real challenge. Especially, if you have other responsibilities as most bloggers have. Also, writing every day and publishing your writings on the Internet for the entire world to see, does take courage. When you write about your thoughts and life, you are revealing a little bit of your soul and the person you are on the inside. Over the last year, I’ve shared some of my innermost thoughts. It’s very personal. Initially, I faced a fear of other people reading what I wrote and deeming me to be hopelessly stupid. I no longer worry so much about what people think about some anonymous person with a web site.
And then there’s the subject of people finding my weblog and reading it. I thought that I would start a little weblog and that people would eventually gravitate towards it once it made its mark and became a blip on the blog scene screen. I believed that if I build it, they would come. And a lot of people did stop by and then move on never to return. In the beginning, I would check my site statistics often and would become disheartened by the lack of return visits. What was wrong with my site?
And finding something interesting to write about every day can be too much to expect. Sometimes nothing comes to mind and sometimes you pour your heart out, but the entry comes out flat and missing the mark in spite of your best effort to produce an interesting and polished entry. Your success depends on what your overall goal is. What are you trying to achieve?
In this first year, I just wanted to keep the words flowing. I wanted to make writing a habit. So, I kept posting entries and I find that the more I write the easier it is to write. I’ve gained confidence in my ability and I don’t worry as much about what people think about my blog or the writing I perform for my career.
So, while I definitely underestimated the time and energy one invests in their weblog, the confidence and ability to find a steady flow of words to express myself makes it a worthwhile investment of my time. And although the blogging thing isn't all I thought it would be, I've already altered my expectations and decided that blogging is something I plan to stick with.
My goal for the next year is to continue to keep the words flowing and focus my energy on improving the quality of the writing.
Coming soon: Blogiversary--Part 3 of 3 (Bound and Gagged By Fear)
