Apathy:
- Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.
- Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.
So I'm feeling bad. I'm fearing that my previous motivation and competitive edge have been replaced with apathy when it hit me: Apathetic people don't sit around worrying about where the motivation has gone. They don't worry about, nor do they mourn the loss, of motivation because you can't miss what you never had.
And I should know something about apathy because about ten years ago I dated the poster child for apathy. On the surface, Mr. Apathy had a lot going for him: looks, charm, great friends and family, a full time job and a joint business venture. And Mr. A was HHOT. One H is not enough to describe his brand of hot.
In reality, Mr. A was often at odds with his family and friends; he slept on the couch in his parent's basement; he worked one part-time job; and there was no joint business venture. There were no ventures at all. There was; however, a bag of weed a week habit, which I identified as the source of his apathy. Apathy isn't a good quality in a boyfriend, lover, or friend. Needless to say, our relationship didn't last long. But did I mention that he was HHOT?
I did learn a few things during our brief relationship. Mr. A blamed everyone except Mr. A for his problems in life. He complained about his lot in life, but never looked inside himself for a solution to his troubles. Instead he embraced his black cloud of apathy.
I don't want to do that. And I know I'm not. I'm sure my lack of motivation is just a passing thing. I'm sure it will return. It's just a matter of time and it will be back. Back in black.
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